Monday 13.08.07
The flight was really boring, so we drew a treasure-map for Ali Baba’s secret treasure, and hid it, so that someone could find it.
Arrived at the Fiumicino airport in Rome, which was nice, though we had to wait an hour for our luggage to appear. Norwegian didn’t have a helpdesk at Fiumicino, so we actually had to wait without knowing anything about what was going on. Shit n’ waste.
We just made it to the train, the doors tried to kill us, but we forced them open with our mighty strength. It cost us a few potions and a buff, but the train took a long time, so we didn’t have to worry about the cooldown. It was very hot, so for the visual pleasure of all our fellow passengers, we changed clothes. Skirts n’ sandals, hello! (The sun was attempting to boil the train alive, and we were in it! So we had to do something!).
Without any further hassle (except a few incidents involving Elin's limited brainpower, a ticket, and a strange ’spit n’ chew’ –machine) we arrived at the Collosseo.
It was a magnificent sight seeing the monstrous Collosseum with the sun behind it. All around there were tourists, and obviously the occasional gypsy-stall attempting to steal all our money, or sell us a few peaches for 7€. Somehow we managed the winding path through the city, over the annoying cobblestones and the staring people – to our B&B!
The hotel was a man with a laptop and a filthy key, so in the beginning we were quite worried about waking up without our kidneys on, but we were not to worry about this when we went to bed later in the “evening”. Well, we did what other people (Bernard Black) would call “freshen up”, this should speak for itself.
Neither of us had eaten since the cocoa at Gardermoen airport, so we had a Bacardi breezer and some double-folded, filled pizza –thingy, you probably know what we mean. This was very lurvely indeed. We sat looking at the Farnese bathtubs at one of the many Piazzas in Rome, t’was savoury and amazing. While eating ice-cream (because we were so full of pizza we could barely walk) we walked to the Pantheon, and Elin bought some delicious shoes.
Again we went to the hotel to “freshen up”, though this time we actually put a little effort in to it. Then we sat down at a bar by Campo di Fiori, and shared a bottle of wine and some fig ice-cream, a strange man with a chess-board and a smaller friend came over to us and insisted on a game of chess. A little advice, worst pick-up method, ever – especially when you insist on never have played chess ever before, but know all the sneaky tricks. They turned out not to be so jolly when we drowned the little chess men in their beer and laughed at them, when we had finished our wine – we simply ran for it. As dignified and elegant as one can with a certain pair of new shoes on, stumbling over thousands of year old cobblestones.
We found a club, and with the power of blonde hair we just whooshed straight past the line, without even looking at the security guys. Incidentally it was Monday, which meant it was free shots for the ladies! [blank]. There was no lock on the toilet, but somehow, we managed. [Blank] Mojito [Blank] … shots? [Blank] Sleazy guys, neon lights, some chap from Egypt [Blank]. Suddenly out in the street again, very strange street, it was moving and the lights were all blurred. Got some roses from some random Frenchmen (eeeeugh) that insisted on buying drinks for Elin, after a rather loud discussion they agreed on buying drinks for Tora as well. [Blank] We were at their table, and they wanted to take us home to Paris, and when Elin agreed to this, Tora decided that we had had enough to drink. [Blank] Made some poor excuse about having to leave in a hurry, seeing we had something very important to do in the middle of the night. [Blank] The Egyptian guy again, we shook him off by going to the toilet, together [Blank?].
At some point Elin took off her shoes..
[BLANK]
Tuesday 14.08.07
Hungover.
Had some mangy breakfast, which was continental, but seeing it was free - Hungover. We walked all the way to the Vatican. We felt a bit fragile… it was quite hot. We were sweating behind the sunglasses. Sent a postcard home, and entered discretely the middle of the queue. Got into the church and did a lot of touristing. You know…
On the way home we got lost, so we stopped for pizza. Food is always the solution. When we finally got back to the hotel we lied on our backs with our feet in the air for a while. The nice hotelman had bought us juice and chocolate biscuits. He had also found the roses from last night and decided to use Toras Imsdal bottle as a vase.
We “freshened up” and went out for dinner. For entertainment there was a clown who took a picture down his pants with another persons camera. Because of a certain over-consummation of alcohol the day before, we couldn’t drink our wine. There were lots to see, and even though it was quite late, we had to visit the Spanish Steps, Fontana di Trevi (to throw a coin in) and Piazza di Popolo. On the way Tora bought the most hideous top, which will from now on go under the name “The Shakira Top”. And we walked and walked and walked some more, Tora fell in love with a dress from Cesari, walked some more, swapped shoes, walked more, swapped back and walked even more. Returned to the hotel about two in the morning and packed. Then we died, twice.
Wednesday 15.08.07
Official Mourning Day.
We set off real early, like seven-ish, and it hurt a lot – we started walking because we were going to see the view from on top of the dome of the St. Peters Church, and decided to get there really early to avoid the queue. But, the world had gone all topsy-turvey and for absolutely no reason the queue was horribly long. It was so early and the world had gone against us, so we didn’t bother to get in the line at all. Instead we decided to spend all day shopping in Via del Corso, it was quite a long walk to get there. On the way we had a gruesome breakfast, which was quite expensive too. When we finally got to Via del Corso, everything was closed – it wasn’t ten o’clock, so we figured they probably just hadn’t opened yet. Out of nowhere there was a church, which we slept in for a bit. When we woke up, the service was about to start, so we left as discreet as possibly and went outside again. The shops still hadn’t opened, and this time we discovered that they had signs all over saying that August 15th is National holiday and everything was closed. Fucking great. Seeing there was no Vatican and absolutely no shopping, we picked up our luggage and left the building. (We had managed to flood the hotel-room when forgetting to empty the air-conditioner, fucking great. Though did as a footbath). Our feet were sore and our legs hurt from yesterdays intense walking. So we walked all the way to the collosseo. Our suitcases were mysteriously heavy. We took the metro all the way to Tiburtina, just to find that the bus we wanted to take from there, wasn’t leaving at all that day – duuh, it was August 15th, naturally buses don’t go on wendesdays the 15th in August, hello! Fucking great. So we had to take the Metro back to Termini (the central station), this took a lot of time, we had huge bags that were heavy to carry and funnily they had just filled up and become really huge over night – odd. What shoes? No, we didn’t buy shoes! Are you telling the story, or am I? Shut up, that’s hardly the point! Fucking great.
We paid shitloads for the train ticket, and again we had to run to catch it. The train was sweaty, clammy, crowded and full of screaming little children. We had a Bacardi breezer, and another one. After a painful bit of time, we had our first stop in Naples, but there were three stops in Naples in total, and seeing we didn’t know which one of them to get off on, we didn’t get off at any of them. Very clever, we thought. Okay, okay, so we would go off at the next one, the next one, no problem. It’s just that the next stop happened to be thirty minutes away, completely the opposite direction of where we were going. Before we knew it ourselves, we stood on the platform in Salerno. Fucking great. We held on to our kidneys real tight, bought tickets back to Naples and waited. When the train finally was to leave, it was leaving at a complete different platform and we had to run, again. Just to be on the safe side, we didn’t validate the ticket by squeezing it through the ‘spit n’ chew’ –machine. To prevent getting a fine for not having a valid ticket we taped our hands together. Brilliant idea, too bad nobody came to check the ticket, but oh well.
Back in Naples we found the local train that would take us to Sorrento, and Elin ran across the road to go to the loo. This apparently made the day of the local barman, he kissed her cheek and held her hand to show her where the loo was, he had most likely never seen a blonde, blue-eyed chick IRL. On board the train a man that looked mysteriously like a chubby jesus said “Beep, baap, boop” in the ear of Elin, which didn’t notice anything. Against all odds that day, we arrived safely in Sorrento and checked in at the hotel. Went to some random place to get nutrients and went out for a drink. [Blank].
We then most likely went back to the hotel and died, again.
Thursday 16.08.07
Had the hotels continental breakfast, which was strawberry-jam on a dry dry bun for Elin and honey on a dry dry dry bun for Tora. Bought a towel and had some ice cream, then we walked all the looooong stairs down to the beach, then up again when we found it was grotesquely expensive. Bought a bun and bus tickets, took the bus to this little village further in on the peninsula. Here we went to the beach, Elin was wearing her new camo bikini and Tora was wearing her flowery grandmother one. in the water we met a gang of boys, one of them which introduced himself as “Valentino Rosso, famous scooter-driver” and made wrist movements while saying “vroom vroom”. Priceless. It was very nice to have a bath in the heat, yesyes. Later we had dinner at Tico Tico, deep-fried calzone, sweet-corn, big steaks and watermelon for dessert. Ugh.
Friday 16.08.07
Got up early and had the continental breakfast. Went to the beach again and bought a inflatable mattress for lying in the water and get a tan. Got sunburnt.
Obviously we laughed a lot at the “Aqua-Gym” which was basically all the Italians shaking booty to horrible latino-music and showing off, while a separate crowd was staring and posing at the same time.
We went back to Sorrento again and purchased buns from the bun-man, he got purple with outrage when we said no to having Nutella on our food. They put Nutella on everything, even pizza. We went shopping, and “freshened up” back at the hotel, obviously we walked around naked and put after-sun lotion on each other. Had dinner at Leone Rosso, which was scrumptious and nice, there was actually a line, but the waiter just came and got us a table right away. Some blonde magic there, something you will never understand. After a two-floored pizza with sweet-corn and some more pineapple we went out for some ice cream and drinks. Had Limoncello shots [Blank].
The flight was really boring, so we drew a treasure-map for Ali Baba’s secret treasure, and hid it, so that someone could find it.
Arrived at the Fiumicino airport in Rome, which was nice, though we had to wait an hour for our luggage to appear. Norwegian didn’t have a helpdesk at Fiumicino, so we actually had to wait without knowing anything about what was going on. Shit n’ waste.
We just made it to the train, the doors tried to kill us, but we forced them open with our mighty strength. It cost us a few potions and a buff, but the train took a long time, so we didn’t have to worry about the cooldown. It was very hot, so for the visual pleasure of all our fellow passengers, we changed clothes. Skirts n’ sandals, hello! (The sun was attempting to boil the train alive, and we were in it! So we had to do something!).
Without any further hassle (except a few incidents involving Elin's limited brainpower, a ticket, and a strange ’spit n’ chew’ –machine) we arrived at the Collosseo.
It was a magnificent sight seeing the monstrous Collosseum with the sun behind it. All around there were tourists, and obviously the occasional gypsy-stall attempting to steal all our money, or sell us a few peaches for 7€. Somehow we managed the winding path through the city, over the annoying cobblestones and the staring people – to our B&B!
The hotel was a man with a laptop and a filthy key, so in the beginning we were quite worried about waking up without our kidneys on, but we were not to worry about this when we went to bed later in the “evening”. Well, we did what other people (Bernard Black) would call “freshen up”, this should speak for itself.
Neither of us had eaten since the cocoa at Gardermoen airport, so we had a Bacardi breezer and some double-folded, filled pizza –thingy, you probably know what we mean. This was very lurvely indeed. We sat looking at the Farnese bathtubs at one of the many Piazzas in Rome, t’was savoury and amazing. While eating ice-cream (because we were so full of pizza we could barely walk) we walked to the Pantheon, and Elin bought some delicious shoes.
Again we went to the hotel to “freshen up”, though this time we actually put a little effort in to it. Then we sat down at a bar by Campo di Fiori, and shared a bottle of wine and some fig ice-cream, a strange man with a chess-board and a smaller friend came over to us and insisted on a game of chess. A little advice, worst pick-up method, ever – especially when you insist on never have played chess ever before, but know all the sneaky tricks. They turned out not to be so jolly when we drowned the little chess men in their beer and laughed at them, when we had finished our wine – we simply ran for it. As dignified and elegant as one can with a certain pair of new shoes on, stumbling over thousands of year old cobblestones.
We found a club, and with the power of blonde hair we just whooshed straight past the line, without even looking at the security guys. Incidentally it was Monday, which meant it was free shots for the ladies! [blank]. There was no lock on the toilet, but somehow, we managed. [Blank] Mojito [Blank] … shots? [Blank] Sleazy guys, neon lights, some chap from Egypt [Blank]. Suddenly out in the street again, very strange street, it was moving and the lights were all blurred. Got some roses from some random Frenchmen (eeeeugh) that insisted on buying drinks for Elin, after a rather loud discussion they agreed on buying drinks for Tora as well. [Blank] We were at their table, and they wanted to take us home to Paris, and when Elin agreed to this, Tora decided that we had had enough to drink. [Blank] Made some poor excuse about having to leave in a hurry, seeing we had something very important to do in the middle of the night. [Blank] The Egyptian guy again, we shook him off by going to the toilet, together [Blank?].
At some point Elin took off her shoes..
[BLANK]
Tuesday 14.08.07
Hungover.
Had some mangy breakfast, which was continental, but seeing it was free - Hungover. We walked all the way to the Vatican. We felt a bit fragile… it was quite hot. We were sweating behind the sunglasses. Sent a postcard home, and entered discretely the middle of the queue. Got into the church and did a lot of touristing. You know…
On the way home we got lost, so we stopped for pizza. Food is always the solution. When we finally got back to the hotel we lied on our backs with our feet in the air for a while. The nice hotelman had bought us juice and chocolate biscuits. He had also found the roses from last night and decided to use Toras Imsdal bottle as a vase.
We “freshened up” and went out for dinner. For entertainment there was a clown who took a picture down his pants with another persons camera. Because of a certain over-consummation of alcohol the day before, we couldn’t drink our wine. There were lots to see, and even though it was quite late, we had to visit the Spanish Steps, Fontana di Trevi (to throw a coin in) and Piazza di Popolo. On the way Tora bought the most hideous top, which will from now on go under the name “The Shakira Top”. And we walked and walked and walked some more, Tora fell in love with a dress from Cesari, walked some more, swapped shoes, walked more, swapped back and walked even more. Returned to the hotel about two in the morning and packed. Then we died, twice.
Wednesday 15.08.07
Official Mourning Day.
We set off real early, like seven-ish, and it hurt a lot – we started walking because we were going to see the view from on top of the dome of the St. Peters Church, and decided to get there really early to avoid the queue. But, the world had gone all topsy-turvey and for absolutely no reason the queue was horribly long. It was so early and the world had gone against us, so we didn’t bother to get in the line at all. Instead we decided to spend all day shopping in Via del Corso, it was quite a long walk to get there. On the way we had a gruesome breakfast, which was quite expensive too. When we finally got to Via del Corso, everything was closed – it wasn’t ten o’clock, so we figured they probably just hadn’t opened yet. Out of nowhere there was a church, which we slept in for a bit. When we woke up, the service was about to start, so we left as discreet as possibly and went outside again. The shops still hadn’t opened, and this time we discovered that they had signs all over saying that August 15th is National holiday and everything was closed. Fucking great. Seeing there was no Vatican and absolutely no shopping, we picked up our luggage and left the building. (We had managed to flood the hotel-room when forgetting to empty the air-conditioner, fucking great. Though did as a footbath). Our feet were sore and our legs hurt from yesterdays intense walking. So we walked all the way to the collosseo. Our suitcases were mysteriously heavy. We took the metro all the way to Tiburtina, just to find that the bus we wanted to take from there, wasn’t leaving at all that day – duuh, it was August 15th, naturally buses don’t go on wendesdays the 15th in August, hello! Fucking great. So we had to take the Metro back to Termini (the central station), this took a lot of time, we had huge bags that were heavy to carry and funnily they had just filled up and become really huge over night – odd. What shoes? No, we didn’t buy shoes! Are you telling the story, or am I? Shut up, that’s hardly the point! Fucking great.
We paid shitloads for the train ticket, and again we had to run to catch it. The train was sweaty, clammy, crowded and full of screaming little children. We had a Bacardi breezer, and another one. After a painful bit of time, we had our first stop in Naples, but there were three stops in Naples in total, and seeing we didn’t know which one of them to get off on, we didn’t get off at any of them. Very clever, we thought. Okay, okay, so we would go off at the next one, the next one, no problem. It’s just that the next stop happened to be thirty minutes away, completely the opposite direction of where we were going. Before we knew it ourselves, we stood on the platform in Salerno. Fucking great. We held on to our kidneys real tight, bought tickets back to Naples and waited. When the train finally was to leave, it was leaving at a complete different platform and we had to run, again. Just to be on the safe side, we didn’t validate the ticket by squeezing it through the ‘spit n’ chew’ –machine. To prevent getting a fine for not having a valid ticket we taped our hands together. Brilliant idea, too bad nobody came to check the ticket, but oh well.
Back in Naples we found the local train that would take us to Sorrento, and Elin ran across the road to go to the loo. This apparently made the day of the local barman, he kissed her cheek and held her hand to show her where the loo was, he had most likely never seen a blonde, blue-eyed chick IRL. On board the train a man that looked mysteriously like a chubby jesus said “Beep, baap, boop” in the ear of Elin, which didn’t notice anything. Against all odds that day, we arrived safely in Sorrento and checked in at the hotel. Went to some random place to get nutrients and went out for a drink. [Blank].
We then most likely went back to the hotel and died, again.
Thursday 16.08.07
Had the hotels continental breakfast, which was strawberry-jam on a dry dry bun for Elin and honey on a dry dry dry bun for Tora. Bought a towel and had some ice cream, then we walked all the looooong stairs down to the beach, then up again when we found it was grotesquely expensive. Bought a bun and bus tickets, took the bus to this little village further in on the peninsula. Here we went to the beach, Elin was wearing her new camo bikini and Tora was wearing her flowery grandmother one. in the water we met a gang of boys, one of them which introduced himself as “Valentino Rosso, famous scooter-driver” and made wrist movements while saying “vroom vroom”. Priceless. It was very nice to have a bath in the heat, yesyes. Later we had dinner at Tico Tico, deep-fried calzone, sweet-corn, big steaks and watermelon for dessert. Ugh.
Friday 16.08.07
Got up early and had the continental breakfast. Went to the beach again and bought a inflatable mattress for lying in the water and get a tan. Got sunburnt.
Obviously we laughed a lot at the “Aqua-Gym” which was basically all the Italians shaking booty to horrible latino-music and showing off, while a separate crowd was staring and posing at the same time.
We went back to Sorrento again and purchased buns from the bun-man, he got purple with outrage when we said no to having Nutella on our food. They put Nutella on everything, even pizza. We went shopping, and “freshened up” back at the hotel, obviously we walked around naked and put after-sun lotion on each other. Had dinner at Leone Rosso, which was scrumptious and nice, there was actually a line, but the waiter just came and got us a table right away. Some blonde magic there, something you will never understand. After a two-floored pizza with sweet-corn and some more pineapple we went out for some ice cream and drinks. Had Limoncello shots [Blank].
Saturday 18.08.07
Got up early to prevent going to Pompeii before it got too hot, Elin fell asleep on the train, and Tora wasn't wearing proper clothes. We just walked around in Pompeii, took a lot of pictures, shuffled the dust about and cool things like that. It was really relly hot and we made sure to get pictures of the frescoes in the brothel. Outside we bought a delicious orange juice thingy that we enjoyed on the train back. Then we went down to a free strip of beach and had some breezers and Elin wore her army-bikini with the camouflage pattern. We were obviously harassed for being blonde and some guy took a picture with his phone but pretended not to. Afterwards we packed up our stuff and went back to Rome again and checked into the same hotel as before. Our bags were really heavy, it was a mystery how they had grown so much. They were probably full of sand. Yes. sand. Seriously can't remember what happened this night.
Sunday 19.08.07
Got up and went shopping! We bought the pretty golden caps that glitter lots and we have worn loads ever since. Bought necklace and found the Pustefix t-shirt, ate a lot of icecreams, possibly yoghurt-icecream, but the yoghurt-thingy really wasn't any nice, was it? We also had the legendary banana milkshake at the same place as usual (between the hotel and the Colosseum). Obviously we had to finish the day off by having dinner at Il Pomodoro Rosso (The Red Tomato) where we had something something, most likely pizza, yes, pretty positive it was pizza. And some deep-fried, nutella-filled buns with extra nutella on top for dessert, of course. Hello! We packed all our stuff, how it had gotten to such an amount was still a mystery. We took pictures of Ali Baba's treasure. Then we went to sleep and our feet hurt loads from all the walking.
Monday 20.08.2007
In the morning we were ready to go and everything was set and we had locked ourselves out properly, Elin suddenly remembered that she had forgotten her golden cap inside, in the room, behind the locked door. So we had to wait for the guy to come to work and lock Elin in so she could retrieve it, but obviously this took him ages, so somebody else helped us out. Because of this, we missed our banana milkshake, which was a massive tragedy, sometimes we still cry about it. The bus was being an arse so we walked aaall the way to the Colosseum again with our now monstrous suitcases to balance over the very gay cobblestones. It took ages and it was exhausting. We then took the subway to Termini, took the airport express train to Fiumicino and then flew away! Back to Snoreway.
